The perks of being unemployed

Fact (Dan Brown style) --> The 'perks' in the post title is a 'white lie' ;)

Long tale, but I promise, it is 'interesting' till last paragraph :)

I have been wanting to write this post for a long time, to start even before I left my job on March 28. Wanting is so different than what we actually do and when we do it. So many times, I have had the uncanny feeling that things will happen only when they are ought to. Of course, we do have the power of choice. But, how do we arrive at a particular choice? Is it a conscious or sub-conscious decision? For example, when I did start this post, I didn't have any intention to be talking about 'choice'. Or perhaps, I did have that intention, only it was buried deep in sub-conscious mind :D

Let's leave the fuzzy philosophical thoughts aside and return back to one's wish ;) I wanted to leave the job about 2 years back, when  I lost interest in the field I was working on. The practical mind didn't let me. Or perhaps again, it was just how things were to be. My regret is that I still left some of my responsibilities unfinished and forgetting to thank appropriately. I am not good in things like that :(

'Lost interest' is so odd? I don't blame you, my own understanding of myself and my actions isn't great too. But then, it is a pattern I have had to live with. After 10th, I chose Physics group over Commerce purely because my eldest brother got better marks with that compared to my middle brother. My own 10th marks were reason too - History 87 and Geography 71 were disappointing compared to 90+ in Maths and science subjects (despite my 'fear' over science). I didn't choose Biology group as I hated the subject vehemently.

In 12th, I got some 'interest' in Electronics, but my aim was to become 'software engineer'. So, I chose 'ECE' over 'CS' - falling to popular argument that one can always join s/w company by studying electronics but not other way around, similar to Physics over Commerce group argument in 11th (also the fact that CS in PSG wasn't govt. aided). Before 2nd year was done, I 'hated' software (due to complete mental drain after 10 days of continuous coding to solve a 'digital logic problem' for department project competition). I then switched 'interest' to hardware course in process of working with my teacher.

Beautifully put by Masanobu what I felt once I lost interest in my field of work (Image copied from friend's facebook post)

My handwriting is another enigma. It is somewhat good one day and pathetic another day. Don't remember exactly when, I once tried to change to 'slanted' cursive writing and even did well for a time. Similarly, my biology drawing in school varied too - once, in 10th, I did such a bad one that my class teacher assigned a biology teacher to oversee that I improved (which was after school hours!!) I confounded myself and the teacher by doing a very good job of some diagram - but then, I took about an hour, one doesn't have that luxury in exam hall.


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My father often chastens me that I am not practical and all theoretical. I got a very good taste of just how bad am in real world.

Saturday, March 29: 
In all eagerness of trying to take care of little things, I set out in Metro from Indiranagar. Getting down at Trinity (noticed price rise of metro ride too), I walked the few meters to Axis Bank. I was 'prepared', having photocopy of 'Rental Agreement' which I thought will be enough as proof for change in communication address.

I walked in and had no idea where the help desk was. Standing in the way and going nowhere must have been enough for help desk (by the right side of entrance) to call me, thankfully! I explained my requirement - pat came the reply that 'Rental Agreement' was simply not acceptable. Gas, BSNL landline, DL, voter-id, Aadhar, any other bank statement - none of them I had! I only had Airtel broadband bill and after some checking whether it is acceptable, I was given go ahead. Phew! By now, I was sitting and being given personal attention. All said and done, I was asked to fill a form, get a photocopy of broadband bill, identity proof and a passport size photo. And I clearly remember, I was asked to come on April 2. (My father would have probably found out required docs and gone and finished the process in one shot)

Feeling a bit disappointed, but grateful for any excuse to keep withdrawal effects (from office work) at bay, I then went on foot to Blossoms book house (famous for second hand books) and got more books to read (not withstanding the few still to be read).

Tuesday, April 1:
I cross checked all I had filled in the form, hoping to avoid mistakes and having to fill the form again at the bank. On an impulse, I called up ACT broadband to check if availability in my area has come up (few weeks back they had come back saying it wasn't). But the call wasn't picked. I improvised a bit, I carried a file to keep papers, rental agreement as a backup. Had juice and then got 'two' copies of PAN card (My father always advises to get extra copies than required).

Then, I walked to Airtel customer center, close to Old Madras road (about 10 min walk). (You see, I have a bicycle, but not trusting to park at Axis Bank and to avoid U-turn on MG road, I was playing safe). Again not knowing who to ask, I eventually asked someone that I have some queries about my broadband. I was informed that I will have to go to Airtel office on 100 feet road - this one won't help me. Trying to confirm, I asked if he was referring to Airtel office close to Domlur (knew it when my office was in Diamond District). He didn't exactly confirm that but I walked to KFC and took a bus to Doopanahalli. Walked back a bit trying to locate - saw Vodafone but no Airtel! A security guard of clothing shop informed me that Airtel office has now moved closer to KFC! Cursing myself for not looking up Google before leaving house and not owning a smart phone, I took a bus back to KFC 'and' walked back to finally reach the right Airtel office. (About 40 minutes of unnecessary walk and bus rides)

This one had a designated reception desk in plain view. After getting my point across, the fellow asked me to get a ticket request from touch machine by the entrance. Well, what do you know, I had to enter my Airtel landline number to get a request (the words to that effect was ambiguous, I wasn't sure if I was being asked landline number or account number - something like 'relationship' number). I thankfully had noted down both in note pad, but neither of them worked (the touch screen difficult to operate too). On verge of losing patience, I called receptionist to help me (thankfully keeping my voice low). He entered my landline number, without the '0' in Bangalore's STD code '080'. You tell me, how could I know?


Anyway, I took the ticket and was attended to promptly. I first asked a copy of my previous month's bill, explaining that it was needed for address proof. (All this was extra cautious steps if at all Axis asked me to validate). Next, I asked him to change my plan (I was unnecessarily paying for landline services I never used except for paying when Airtel service engineers placed a call - the irony of it! :( ) He replied that I could do that only by calling customer care or mailing to an id he wrote for me. I then asked the third reason I came for - procedure for termination, citing that I might leave the city given that I left my job.

Then, I walked back to metro station. After baggage x-ray, I got a call back from ACT. Train was arriving, so asking him to hold, I hurried up to catch. The air conditioning cooling my excited state, I was surprised and relieved to hear that ACT was ready to provide me connection. I gave my address and repeated to make sure it was noted correctly. When I reached the bank, it was closed - informed that it was holiday on account of April 1 (must be financial reason than fool's day I presume). I don't need anyone to play prank on me, am a big fool myself :D. I convinced myself that perhaps I was told 'Tuesday' not April 2, why would it be holiday, etc. If not for ACT good news, dunno how bad I would have felt after series of mood spoiling events.

After getting back to room, the ACT representative came. Here too, I had to give address proof, identity proof (happy that 'extra' copy was useful - remember, when I got copy, I didn't know ACT was coming) and passport size photo, along with signing the form where he filled the details. Rental agreement was acceptable, but I wanted to save a copy for myself. Airtel bill too (irony of it again :P), but I had only one copy. Soft copy of bill was acceptable :) Primary reason to change service was that I was getting better deal for Rs 600+ less! It is another matter to see how the service will be, my friends are okay with service so far.

Wednesday, April 2:
Hoping that I won't be sent back for lack of correct documents (or worse, if I forgot some other document required), I took the metro third time. Not before taking extra copy of both Airtel bill and PAN card (again following father's guideline, also I had HDFC card address change to take care too). I walked in confidently and straight to lady who had instructed me last time. Apparently, she was only helping me out, I had to meet someone else to submit the docs.

I fumbled a bit while taking a seat. I handed over filled form and proofs. I repeated that I had left job, etc. Well, can you expect in advance? I have to fill 'two' forms - one for address change and one for change of account from 'salary' to 'savings'. The other lady could have told me on Saturday itself :-/ And for that, I had to provide TWO copies of address proof. I produced it (thanking my father again). Rest of procedures went smooth and I was actually pleased that I got it done, despite the comedies.

Buoyed by success, I then called up HDFC customer care to politely ask procedure for address change. The representative, equally politely, gave every little step to follow - I just had to download a form, take a printout, write my new address and put in dropbox at any HDFC ATM! No address proof required. (FYI, I had looked up in Axis online account to see if I could change address online. But didn't do the same for HDFC credit card :-/ )

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Not exactly a street wise guy I am, you can infer. Which I know it too. Which, my father surmised so long ago. To summarize the post, I am as confused as anyone else what I am gonna do next. I certainly haven't figured it out yet. As can be expected, the void resulted in withdrawing effects. I should have seen it coming but didn't prepare for it. Fortunately for me, my friends had the right words of encouragement and solidify the confidence in myself.

I am enjoying the absence of work such an extent that I keep pushing away the process of trying to earn. I'll leave that to random probability of universe :P And entropy and atoms and Higgs boson :D Instead, for now, I enjoy the slow process of peeling an orange (used to make juice earlier), plucking coriander/palak leaves from strands for chutney, getting used to Ubuntu (detailed post coming later), sorting out old clothes and donating to my maid and isthiri wala, alarm free sleep, the extra time in mornings to go for a run/cycling, wandering in neighborhood to note eateries and other shops, blogging more than usual, learning a thing or two about social life and so on.

Have a nice day and listen to your heart once in a while at least :)

A dreamy affair

I knew not what I was staring it. It was hazy all around. I sensed a movement. Then I saw it. No, him. Like a snake slithering, a man appeared. He was wearing a white chef hat with strange flower carvings. I had not seen him before, yet I didn't sense any foreboding. He handed me a card without any preamble. There were some kind of symbols drawn on both sides of the card. Seeing me perplexed, the man told me where I was to find my friend and the route I had to take. Insisting that I keep the card safely, he disappeared as he had arrived.

***************************************

Leo was getting impatient. His friend hadn't turned up yet. Having traveled far, he didn't want to miss the air show which was about to begin anytime. He flipped through the pamphlet yet again to keep his cool. After an agonizing wait, he felt a tap on his right shoulder. He turned about. No one was near. As is the wont of human impulse, he turned left now. His friend's apologetic face stared back at him. Leo thought of swearing, but held back. Let the show get over, he thought. After all his friend had the tickets.

The two friends were moving towards the gates when they heard the unmistakeable whirring of plane overhead. Both of them turned around and looked above to catch a glimpse. They were waiting for the plane to perform some trick when Leo's friend noticed another plane coming in view below the one they were watching. He was about to bring Leo's attention to it, when it happened. The second plane moved too fast, too low and something else was strange. The plane looked like a fighter plane but painted in such assorted colors as a child would draw a cartoon. And the plane behaved as if a cartoon. It was not only moving quickly, but staggered up and down as if made of rubber. The two friends stood transfixed on the spot as the plane perilously stooped towards them and flew away. No one else seemed to have seen it as most of them were still gazing at the first plane doing its trick.

Leo twitched as if to speak when he noticed the rubbery plane making a U-turn and coming back to them. Before the two could take a step though, the plane had already landed. The pointed tip on the front of the plane pierced Leo's friend, injuring him fatally.

*********************************************

Meanwhile, somewhere else, two people were watching the events from the live feed of the rubbery plane. They had waited a long time for this day and everything had gone awry. The shorter of the two was about to switch off the feed when the taller one shouted "Wait a minute, it can't be happening. Is that his soul? No, no, no. It's another of me!". He closed his eyes for a while, deep in thought. "It can have only one explanation, only one explanation it can be. His clothes and card are a confirmation", the taller said coming out of his reverie.

**********************************************

I was walking towards the destination the man had given. The lonely roads seemed familiar, yet I couldn't place it when I had been before. I kept turning the card in my hands to no avail. The symbols seemed randomly drawn. I had a strange feeling that the symbols were different from when I had seen it first. But I had no way of knowing as the random pattern was hard to remember anyway. Lost in thought, I failed to notice the dramatic change of landscape. Suddenly there were people all around. There was sunshine when it was foggy only a moment ago. As my eyes adjusted, I saw myself standing near a dead body.

Both Leo and I had lots of questions and confusions strangling us. Here I was staring at my own dead body while Leo was staring at himself in the cockpit of the strange plane. The crowd however continued to be oblivious of everything happening to us and we seemed to have been wrapped around with infinite nothingness.

**********************************************

The other Leo ignored the dead me and took the two of us in his cartoon-like plane across weird mountains having tall trees atop with branches on either side bending all the way to ground level. Along the way we had dozed off and when we awoke, the day just got weirder. There were two more of us.

"Welcome to the 3rd dimension of the universe", intoned the third me, towering over the third Leo.
Continuing with the slightly irritating musical tone, he added "It was a failure, the mission today, huge failure it was". He closed his eyes and shook his head a few times.
"Okay, I will try to make sense in explaining what happened today. First of all, this is a dream for you, Sundeep from the first dimension. The card you got is one of the ways to jump into another dimension. The pilot Leo who brought you both is from the fourth dimension. His rubbery plane is another of the ways of hopping dimensions. Your arrival into second dimension was unexpected and perhaps caused the accident leading to the death of your body in that dimension. As such, I don't expect it to cause any discomfort in your dimension. Because, as you see, there are infinite dimensions making up the waking universe that you know. Like the fundamental sine wave, it takes infinite components in one domain to create a single component in another domain. How we named the dimensions or what we intended to do today is irrelevant for you. And you probably would forget most of the details anyway. All I want is for you to remember this dream, so that when you meet us again, you won't be shocked and surrounded by a shield preventing you from speaking as you both would have noticed today. Strange are these dreams, stranger still that dream and reality met in different dimensions."

Me and Leo continued to have the dazed look, the pilot Leo and other two resorting to animated discussions. All I remember of what happened next was a resounding echo of pilot Leo's rubbery plane taking off.

**********************************************

-Based on a true incident, I mean a true dream :D
Like the never ending search for meaning of life, I find interpreting dreams interesting. Most striking feature is that there is no dream without ourselves as a character in it. And most of the other characters/locations are mostly from our  known ones but jumbled up in weird ways. Is that a reflection of how our sub-conscious mind perceives our daily experiences or random events plucked and stitched together? But I tend to disagree if someone says that dreams are meaningless. Many a times dreams have helped me in solving real life problems or find a loop-hole in something I worked earlier in the day. Or sometimes when I wake up from sleep, be it morning or middle of night, I find myself thinking about the previous day's work from a new perspective and infer a lot which otherwise in the day I couldn't think of.

So, have you had any such dreams trying to convey something? Do leave it in comments, I would love to read them :)

Weird or Coincidence?

Yo! Writing a post here after a long time :)

I wanted to do this post for a long time now. Better late than never. I present few of my experiences here which are unrelated but with a common theme.

Image Courtesy: Link

Incident 1:

Cannot recollect the exact period, but probably 10-14 years back. Our school was on Kangayam road (Tirupur), and everyday on the way to school, we used to look with awe at Velan hotel (a popular hotel, where film shooting has also taken place). How we longed to go inside! One day (night I should say) I got a dream of visiting Velan hotel. The only thing I remembered after waking up was a wooden model of a ship with glossy finish. Sometime later, I got a chance to actually go inside the hotel! It so happened that one of my father's friend was blessed with a boy and Velan hotel was chosen for treat. Man, I was so excited. And guess what, there was a wooden ship model with glossy finish!

Incident 2:

This happened in college. Coming out of exam hall, I was quickly moving towards my department to check score of India's cricket match. I remember moving pretty fast as I wanted to check the scores and rush home to prepare for next day's exam. Suddenly I felt as if someone was calling me and turned back. I remember that I pointedly looked in a particular direction. It happened to be my classmates who were discussing about me (or perhaps trying to get my attention) and I distinctly remember I used my thumb to question what it was! The distance between us was large enough that I couldn't have heard their call with all the chatter from students coming out of the exam hall. Later when we met, the classmates were perplexed as well as to how I turned towards them.

Incident 3:

On an industrial visit in train. We were playing dumbsharads. After many rounds, I had been thinking on a difficult movie name. I stuck on one and had in mind to be asked. The opponent team had given one and one of our team mate was about to act it out. Wonder what prompted me, before any acting was done I guessed the right movie name. And it was the same I had in my mind. For the record, the movie name was 'Billa'.

Incident 4:

In my workplace this time. I had gone to my supervisor's cabin to discuss something. He wasn't there and I started walking back. My supervisor at that time was coming from pantry. He saw me and wanted to draw my attention. My back was turned to him and he hadn't voiced out my name. I felt as if he was waving his hands (though I didn't ask him later if he did wave his hands) and turned to acknowledge him. At the time I turned to him, he was definitely looking in my direction and hence the assumption that he was trying to draw my attention.

Incident 5:

I was going through the meaning of Gayatri Mantra one day. I was very intrigued by its wordings and different interpretations prevalent. This scientific explanation caught my attention the most. It says that 'Om' is the sound produced because of the rotation of planets, solar systems, galaxies etc. That night I had a dream where I 'felt' the rotating sensation.

Edit - Incident 6:
Happened during first year of college. There was an assignment for a programming language (C or C++, don't remember which) - it consisted of writing many short programs to solve given problems (and may be some spot errors and the like). I tried to solve many (perhaps full assignment, can't be sure after nearly 10 years gone). That night though, I had a dream which pointed out an error in one of the programs - which turned out to be true the next day I checked!

What to conclude from these incidents? That we have some powers buried deep inside which arise in little incidents and pass almost unnoticed? A couple of books I have read ('God is not Dead' by Amit Goswami and 'The Intention Experiment' by Lynne McTaggart) provide answers for all of the above.

These books bring to light about scientific experiments conducted and verified by different researchers around the globe. I am presenting below a gist of some the interesting ones. (Details may not be exactly correct, as am writing off my memory)

• We can anticipate future incidents, or atleast our mind prepares to forth-coming event. There is something called random event generator which uses electro-magnetic noise. Its output has high degree of randomness. When the 2001 twin tower tragedy happened, this device reading ceased to be random two hours prior the tragedy and continued to be so for around 2 more days. There is a more fool-proof evidence that time as we know isn't one-way.
• A random event generator is set so as to produce either a '0' or a '1'. A computer logs them all and produces a final result of % of '0' and '1'. They are printed, sealed and kept locked, without 'anyone' having the knowledge of the result. A group of people are then asked to meditate, focusing on trying to bias the already generated result of the computer to one of the values, say '1'. Now the sealed print-outs are opened and checked to see if they biased to the number tried. And it was! This experiment has been repeated many times to rule out coincidences.
• We know that brain activity can be measured as it involves electrical signals. Two people (with close relation) are seated in different rooms with electro-magnetic noise shield so as to record only the brain activity. One of them is asked to 'send' a thought to the other person in his mind. The other person was given some random activity and had no idea when the first person would send the 'thought'. When the thought was sent, similar looking brain patterns were registered instantaneously for both. And this was the case even when the two of them were separated by half the world distance.

To believe that the above experiments are true is left to us. 'The Lost Symbol' by Dan Brown also has reference to some of these experiments, though I believe he has exaggerated some of them. To me, they are fascinating. More so, as I could correlate them with my experiences. As Amit Goswami argues, can we bind 'consciousness' to materialistic body? The true extend of ability of our brain may never be found. And perhaps, that is not relevant. Because, there is so much that we do not know, or perhaps we know nothing at all, as to why we exist.

Those four years...

I joined PSG college of Technology instead of Anna University for two main reasons: I could avoid hostel (with its not-so-good-food) and believing many who said faculties would be better in PSG (which I can say is true to an extent from what I heard from my friends who went to Anna Univ). Now, the first reason held true, but with an added hardship. The distance between college and home was a small matter of around 55kms.

Image Courtesy: Link

Well of course, my elder brother was himself studying in PSG and day-scholar too. So, it wasn't a tough decision to up-down everyday. There were two options for commuting: train and bus. Like my brother, I settled for a mix of it. From Tirupur to Coimbatore, it was by train. But to railway station being 3-4kms from home, we had to first use town bus :P. And not always, on reaching Coimbatore could we get down at Peelamedu, the local station from where we could walk to college in 15mins.

Classes for first year in college started at 9:30am and 8:30am from 2nd year onwards. My bro being in 3rd year when I was in 1st year, had to catch the first available train - 1013 (Kurla Express) whose arrival time at Tirupur station was 5:40am. First few days I accompanied him in that train. That meant waking up at around 4:30am, getting ready by 5:10am. It being an express train, it had no stoppage at Peelamedu, but due to single line connection, there used to be frequent crossings at local station. And many times it would be at Peelamedu. Sometimes, if the train stopped after Peelamedu, we would catch another passenger train going towards Peelamedu! But on occasions, we had no option but get down at Coimbatore junction and catch a bus to College. There was another train around 8am (Erode to Coimbatore passenger train). So, for most part of 1st year, I used the passenger one. And it had stopping at Peelamedu, but the risk was if it reached beyond 9:15am, I would be late for the first hour. But thankfully, it was rare and I kept 100% attendance for the 1st year :)

Return from college was again via the same passenger train. For 2nd year, I had no option but to catch the 5:40am Kurla in the morning. Ofcourse, I couldn't get ready always to reach in time and those rare cases I resorted to using bus to Coimbatore. But, it being Indian railway, mostly train would arrive after 6am. So, even if I was late, I would first confirm the departure of train instead of directly using bus. It so happened a handful of occasions that I would reach the station in time, but train would be late and when I reached the station late, the train would have left on time :D. But, thankfully, for the whole of my college, I never missed the return train from Peelamedu to Tirupur. If I had missed, it would have meant a painful 15min walk back to catch a bus service. During 3rd year, railways dept. conspired against us! They changed the timing of Kurla to 5am! That was too much and morning travel was mostly by bus.

The train travel meant I had ample free time. I would mostly read text/story books and even write lab observation/record in train. And very rarely (like after some festival holidays) did I not find a sitting place in train. I especially used to like climbing to the top berth and situation often warranted it. And believe me, this set-up of up-down everyday was what enabled me to work hard.

Now, why am I relating all this? Well, think about traveling for 4 years in train in India. Don't you think I would have met with an accident? Well thankfully, I never did. But there were close misses.

Incident #1:
Cheran express plying from Chennai to Coimbatore. It's time was around 1 hour before the Kurla express. One coach (general compartment, at the back-end of train, which is where I used to sit in Kurla) of it burned when someone committed suicide. It could easily have happened in Kurla too. That day, I was traveling in Kurla as usual when it had to stop midway at a local station. I then reached college by bus, but to think of it...

Incident #2:
Happened this time in Kurla on Tirupur station itself. Apparently, a woman slipped after the train had started moving and came under the wheels. I didn't see as I was at the back and this happened in front. As soon as I got the word, I fled from the station, not being able to digest it.

Incident #3:
This one while going in passenger train in the morning. The train had halted two stations before Peelamedu as usual. But then there came an alert that someone had cut the train-track at some point ahead! We had to walk some 2km to catch bus to college.

Incident #4:
Again passenger train, this time while returning in the evening. The train was nearing a local station, when we heard a loud metal clang and immediately the driver brought the train to a halt. Some metal-rod like part near the wheel had come-off. I didn't wait to gather the details. As we were near the station, I could walk some 1-2km to catch bus.

I am not able to think of any other unwanted incident. Sure there were many other interesting incidents in those four years of travel, but perhaps another day I will pen them down :)

Coincidence!!

My favourite instance for coincidence is from my own life! Owing to our father's constant pressure from very young age of our life, we (myself, and my two elder brothers) always strived hard to get good marks in studies. My eldest brother, Anup, took to getting 1st rank as a habit. Due to different schooling structure in Rajasthan & Tamil Nadu, Anup had to forgo 2 years of schooling. As a result, he and my other elder Arpit studied in same class from 1st standard onwards. But, this difference of schooling structure did not hamper him from getting the better of Arpit in studies. This paved way for constant competition between both my elder brothers. Try however hard, Arpit couldn't beat Anup until the 4th standard. It was 2nd mid-term tests, and Arpit outdid Anup by a whisker! getting 468/500 with Anup getting 467/500.

Image Courtesy: Link

Now starts the funny part! I wasn't so good in studies right from LKG. Anup took to being the mentor for me. He instilled in me the habit of getting up early in morning for studying and also guiding me on various aspects of life. I improved in studies and even getting 2nd rank in 3rd standard, but still couldn't get the elusive 1st rank. It became almost a feverish wish to achieve 1st rank somehow. And then it happened! I got the 1st rank in 4th standard. Guess what! It was in 2nd mid-term. It doesn't stop here. Yup, you guessed it.. I got 468/500 and beat the 2nd rank holder by 1 mark! It doesn't end here too! The 2nd rank holder was my relative, who used to get 1st rank often just like Anup!